We liked the last church we visited so much, that we decided to go to the Wednesday evening service. I double checked the time on the website, and we drove on down. We were the only ones there. The church was dark and locked. We sat in the parking lot for 10 minutes, and no one showed up. It is a very small church, but we were seriously the only ones there. :-/

So, we went out for ice cream, instead.

We decided we'd probably not bother with Wednesday evening services, if we continue going to this church. We went the following Sunday. There were more people there, this time. One family that walked in the door, we recognized. They were one of the families from the second church that kicked me out. You know, the church that kicked me out because I'm on the Austism spectrum, and was not socially proper enough for them? Yeah - that church.

My kids and their kids recognized each other, and enjoyed catching up, and they and some other church kids all played football, tag, Red Light Green Light, etc. outside after services. Meanwhile, my husband and I got to speak with the parents of that family both before and after services. None of us brought up the topic of that church that kicked me out. I don't know if it would be wise to rehash it. I do know much of the congregation at that church (the second one that kicked me out) was lied to about me, as I know that the elders at that church called a church-wide meeting after I was kicked out, and the meeting was about me. I don't know what was said in that meeting, but a whole bunch of ladies from that church suddenly emailed me after the meeting, throughout the week, telling me to get under my husband's submission. That was very ODD to me, because I am, and have been! That is one of the big reasons why I cover my head:

"But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth his head. But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven. For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered. For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man. For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels." -1 Corinthians 11:3-10

The Scriptures are also clear that I am to submit to my own husband, and not another man:

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." -Ephesians 5:22

"Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing." -Ephesians 5:24

Lest you think wives must sin if their husbands tell them to, they are not to. They are to be subject/submissive to their own husbands as it is fit in the Lord:

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord." -Colossians 3:18

Wait, there are more...

"To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." -Titus 2:5

What if the husband is not obeying God's Word? The below tells wives to be in subjection to their own husbands, but also in this case be an example to their unsaved or backslidden husband of what a Christian is supposed to be like (conversation).

"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives" -1 Peter 3:1

Here's one more:

"For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands" -1 Peter 3:5

Continuing this little rabbit trail just a few moments longer... Did you know that the Bible no where says that women are to submit to men? It only says that wives are to submit to their own husbands. Also, no where does the Bible say that women can't teach men. People think the below scriptures say that women can't teach men, but they are very wrong:

"1 But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine:

2 That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.

3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

6 Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded.

7 In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity,

8 Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you." -Titus 2:1-8

Is verse 1 only for men? No, it doesn't give a gender qualifier. It's for ALL Christians.

Verse 2 tells older men how to behave. Verses 3-6 tell older and younger women how to behave, but no where does it say women can only teach women and children, just like the above doen't say men can only teach men. When it comes to teaching of things that involve the home, it's best for the aged women to teach the younger women this, rather than the men, because women guide the house, not men:

"I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully." -1 Timothy 5:14

Since it's the woman's sphere to guide the house, it is fitting that older women teach younger women how to do so in a godly, Christian manner.

Verse six in our Titus 2 passage says how young men are to behave, and 7 through 8 seem to continue with verse 1, instructing all Christians, regardless of gender or age.

As you can see, Titus 2 does not say that women cannot teach men, or that women are to submit to men. In fact, verse 5 specifically says women are just to submit to their own husbands (not another's husband or another's future husband, etc.)

Here's another passage that people try to use, to say that women aren't allowed to teach men, and that women are to be submissive to men:

"Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church." -1 Corinthians 14:34-35

1) Who are "your women?" These are the wives of the men. This is putting the woman under her husband's authority, not any other man's. We see this even clearer, where it says "let them ask their husbands." We see here that this passage no where says that women are to submit to men. It is referring to the wives being silent, and if they have questions, to ask their husbands at home.

2) What about the women that have to "keep silence in the churches?" Are women to be quiet at all times during the whole services? Absolutely not! Read all of chapter 14, and all of chapter 12 in 1 Corinthians. The spiritual gifts are to ALL Christians, not just men. No only are women not to quench the Holy Spirit, but we are to exercise the gifts from the Holy Spirit, just as Christian men are to:

"Quench not the Spirit." -1 Thessalonians 5:19

"But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven." -1 Corinthians 11:5

A woman can exercise her spiritual gifts, but she should be head covered, in doing so. She covers her head, because her husband is her head, and she submits to him. A woman may exercise her spiritual gifts, but she is not to do so at the expense of no longer submitting to her husband.

What does the woman keeping "silence in the churches" mean, then? Well, look at the word I bolded - "learn." If she will LEARN anything, let her ask HER HUSBAND at home. This shows us that women are to keep silence when there is learning going on - in other words, during the teaching. The husband is the spokesperson and representative for the family, as the family's head. Husband and wife should already be in doctrinal agreement (2 Cor. 6:14), so there is no need for her to speak up during the teaching, anyhow.

As you can see, 1 Corinthians 14 also does not teach that women are to submit to men, or that women can't teach. It just reminds wives to remain under their husband's headship (see also Eph. 5), and the husband is the spokesman for the family, during the teaching at church. That is it. To read anything more into it, is to add to the Word of God.

The last Scripture that some people think teaches that women are to submit to men, and that women are not allowed to teach men is the following:

"11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.

12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve.

14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.

15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety." -1 Timothy 2:11-15

The above is saying the exact same thing as the 1 Corinthians 14 passage.

1) Who is "the woman?" She is the wife of her own husband, as we see in verses 13-15.

2) Who is the woman not to teach or usurp authority over? HER HUSBAND - "the man," in verse 12. Remember, the husband is the head of the family, and of the wife, in the familial order (Eph. 5).

3) When is the woman to be "in silence with all subjection?" When she is LEARNing, as per verse 11.

The above passage is saying the same thing as the 1 Corinthians 14 passage - the wife is to be silent in church during the teaching, and if one must speak up, her husband may, as the head of the family. The wife is not to teach or usurp authority over her husband, but remain in subjection to him. Does this mean that if the wife learns something from the Scriptures that the husband doesn't know, she isn't allowed to share it with him, because that would be teaching him? NO! The above is referring to not teaching him during the teaching/sermon portion of church, not to all of the time.

In fact, husbands and wives are heirs to grace and eternal life TOGETHER, and there is nothing wrong with taking the Scriptures to one's husband, and showing him something he doesn't yet know.

"For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus." -Galatians 3:27-28

Women are as much part of the Body of Christ as men are. There are absolutely NO stipulations in the Scriptures stating that women are not allowed to do their part in the Body, just because they are female. We are all expected to be ambassadors for Christ, regardless of our gender. In fact, speaking in the general Christian sphere, rather than the familial authority sphere, Christian men are to submit to Christian women, as much as Christian women are to submit to Christian men, and Christian men are to submit to other Christian men, and Christian women are to submit to other Christian women:

"Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God." -Ephesians 5:21

I hope that in this rabbit trail, I have clearly shown you that there is not one passage in the Bible that states that women can't teach men, or that women are under men. In fact, if Christian men don't dwell with their wife according to knowledge, and if they don't honor them, or treat them as "being heirs together of the grace of life," then the husband's prayers will be hindered, as a punishment:

"Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered." -1 Peter 3:7

Quick Note: Can women be pastors of churches? No, as the Bible clearly says as one of the qualifications for bishop/pastor, is that he must be the husband of one wife. The qualifications also list how the wife of a pastor is to behave, etc. You can read all of this for yourself in 1 Timothy 3.

In the first church I was kicked out of, the pastor insisted that I take down my personal blog off of the internet. I refused. He is not my husband (wives, submit to YOUR OWN husbands), and my husband is fine with my blog, and likes it, and my blogging. He supports and encourages me to do it, as a matter of fact.

In the second church that I was kicked out of, some church members kept assuming I wasn't under my husband's authority, because I studied, and spoke of the Bible for myself, but not during the sermons at church, of course. I talked Bible and doctrine with anyone who was interested, which was almost all men, BTW, most of the women shied from Bible talk all together, which I found both odd and disturbing. I was kicked out for being female, yet having a mind of my own, and following the gifting I got from the Holy Spirit (part of which actually includes my autism.)

Rabbit trail over... I think...

So, back to going the second Sunday to the church where I agreed with everything on their Statement of Faith on their website... The family that goes there, that's from the second church I was kicked out of was very nice, and I don't think there will be any problems. It did, however, bring a flood of memories and Scriptures to my mind, all of which I just shared above, in the not-so-short rabbit trail. It is a sense of relief to type that all out, and get it out of my head, so I hope it helped or blessed you in some way, as well.

The next week we went, we met another family that we used to know. More on that in the next installment in these Church Shopping Chronicles.