Neroplasticity: The ability of the nervous system and brain to develop new neural connections.
Personality: A collection of qualities that embody the visible aspect of one's character.
Epigenetics: The expression of heritable traits which are modified by environmental influences or other mechanisms.
You are not stuck. Neither am I. Our personalities are made up of some genetic factors, experiences from how we were raised, and via decisions we make through our lives, in which we decide how to react to, etc.
Have you taken the Myer's Brigg's test, to find out your personality type? Mine is INTJ. Click here to take the test for free, and to read about what your results mean. In my results, the I is for introverted; the N for intuitive, the T for thinking, and the J for judging. An exact opposite of my personality, would then be ESFP, in which the E is for extroverted; the S is for sensing; the F is for feeling, and the P is for perceptive.
Are you stuck with your personality type? No, I believe you are not. I believe I ultimately chose my personality type, because of my brain's structure, and how I decided to react and feel about certain situations in my life. INTJ's are known as "systems builders." We create systems, or different/better ways of doing things. Many Aspergians are INTJ (certainly not all), because, IMO, the INTJ personality provides the most promising way to cope with the downfalls, and use our Aspie super powers.
What if you find you don't want the type of personality you have? Are you stuck with it? Is it just the way you were made? I believe the answer to that question is a resounding NO. When people talk of learning who they are, or 'finding themselves,' that registers as ludicrous to me. Why? Because you are who you choose to be.
Through epigentics, those who are genetically predisposed to diseases such as diabetes, or are more prone to alcoholism or obesity, etc. do not need to follow their genetic path. Through conscious life choices to alter that path, one can truly eradicate the predisposing genes to such things as diabetes, etc. This has been scientifically proven. You can use a search engine to look up the case studies and reports.
People who have suffered strokes, with permanent damage to a portion of their brains, have been able to recover abilities that originally extended from the part of the brain that became damaged, and non-functional. For example - perhaps the part of their brain that was damaged was the part that let them use their right hand. Through the proven science of neuroplasticity, the person's brain can grow new neural connections, and create a different center in the brain for right hand movement. Their brain damage didn't disappear, but they are eventually able to use their right hand normally again, because of new neural connections, and the right hand center of the brain now being in a different part of their brain.
Neuroplasticity has also been found to play a part in people increasing their IQ, getting over serious phobias, and more.
Therefore, if you don't like being genetically predisposed to a disease or problem, and/or you don't like yourself or your personality, you CAN change it. Thanks to the God-designed, God-given tools of epigentics and neuroplasticity, you are not stuck. You can be released from the unhealthy predispositions, and not even have those to pass to your future progeny. You can be freed of serious phobias, etc.
Forget about finding yourself, or learning who you are. You get to choose who you are. Who do you want to be? Be that person.
To access both neuroplasticity and epigenetics to create change require the same basic steps:
1) Decide on your goal, or goals (work on one or two goals at a time; don't overload yourself)
2) Regularly expose yourself to the troubling, or hard situation(s) and make yourself deal with it in the way in which you want to deal with it, instead of dealing with it in a mere knee-jerk reaction
3) You MUST change your thoughts. From what you think stems what you feel, how you react, and who you are in life.
4) Once you have changed your thoughts, you MUST take control of your feelings and emotions. Don't let them control you. You should be in charge of your own faculties. Your thoughts dictate what you are most likely to feel. First check your thought patterns, and see if they need to be changed. Then, make the cognizant decision to feel what you believe you should feel, in regards to the thoughts you are allowing yourself to have in the situation at hand.
5) React accordingly. If your thoughts are right, then your emotions should be on track, and therefore your actions should follow suit.
The above steps are not New Age. In fact, they are very scientific. More importantly, they are truth, because these steps are taught from the Word of God:
"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." -Philippians 4:8
"And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity." -2 Peter 1:5-7
"For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he" -Proverbs 23:7a
You have a choice. You always have. You choose you, and after you've chosen you, then you just do you, Boo. ;-)