If any man think himself to be a prophet, or spiritual, let him acknowledge that the things that I write unto you are the commandments of the Lord.
-1 Corinthians 14:37
Write the things which thou hast seen, and the things which are, and the things which shall be hereafter -Revelation 1:19
And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful. -Revelation 21:5
We can read the Word of God, and know God's Will for us.
How is a Woman to Behave?
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. -Titus 2:3-5
Women are to be:
- Sober - both mentally and physically. Clear-headed.
- Love their husbands and children (which means they need to treat them with love)
- Discreet - the opposite of cattiness and gossip, which women tend toward.
- Chaste - both in dress and behavior.
- Keepers at home - this is the opposite of a career woman. It is the husband's job to work outside of the home:
In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return. -Genesis 3:19
- Good - doing what's right, even when it is inconvenient, humbling, or makes you look like a fool to the world.
- Obedient to their own husbands (not other's husbands, or pastors. Pastors are brothers in Christ, not bosses.) - the woman of today's world may find it distasteful to learn that it is God's will for her to submit to her husband. It is important to keep in mind that submission and obedience to one's husband does not mean the woman is less important. Men and women are equal, they just have different roles. The woman's role is what this article is exploring. The man has a much harder role.
If you struggle with obedience and submission to your husband, then you need to pray the Lord to help you. Perhaps you think your husband doesn't deserve your respect and submission. Do you deserve for him to treat you like a queen (as many women desire)? Probably not. We all do things we are not proud of, but as Christians, we are called in our walk to become more perfect each day. We are shedding our worldly selves, and transforming our lives to conform more to the life of Christ.
The book Fascinating Womanhood, by Helen Andelin, has helped to transform many women's lives and marriages from a mess of weeds to a beautiful banquet. This book teaches truths, and they are highly important and transformative. Please take the time to read it. Its potential to enrich your life and walk with the Lord is high.
- If we are not submissive and obedient to our own husbands, the Bible says we are then "blaspheming the Word of God." That is SERIOUS. No mention is made about if our husbands are right or wrong, whether they are walking with God or not, or whether they deserve to be obeyed. Just as long as he is not breaking the laws of the land, or the the Word of God, the wife is to submit, while being "good," - having a good, submissive, LOVING, cheerful attitude.
It is equally important that the husband honor his wife, else his prayers may be hindered. See 1 Peter 3:7. This tells us that it is not the wife's job to make sure her husband falls in line. Let GOD take care of it. It is the husband's responsibility to honor his wife, and if he doesn't, let the Lord work on him. As his wife, you are to pray, and be a model of a humble, submissive, and loving Christian. See 1 Peter 3:1
A woman should be the opposite of a man. Men have loud, deep, strong voices. Women should therefore speak more softly and sweetly. Men, by nature, take charge, unless they've been beaten down, in which case he should be built back up - see the earlier recommended book. Women should never try to change their husbands, or nag them:
It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman. -Proverbs 21:19
It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house. -Proverbs 25:24
A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike. -Proverbs 27:15
A man is strong and muscular - a woman should be soft and feminine (she should be strong as well, but she shouldn't use it the same way a man does - see Proverbs 31). Throughout the Bible, we see that the distinctions between the man and the woman are opposites. When a man and woman marry, they come together - they complete each other. They are like two halves of one unit - this unit is not a doubling of the same thing, but two opposite halves, which come together and compliment each other.
After you've read Fascinating Womanhood, consider following that up by reading The Symbols of This Position from the book Baptist Women Exalted. That book goes into much detail on this principle, with a liberal sprinkling of firm Scriptures to back up each point. Men are to work "by the sweat of their brow," while women are to be "keepers at home." Men are to lead and honor their wives, and women are to submit to and be obedient to their husbands.
TIP: Women desire to be loved - "Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them." -Colossians 3:19
While men also want to be loved, they strongly desire to be ADMIRED. Don't nag your husband, or try to change him. The changing is between the Lord and your husband, if any change is needed. Why did you marry your husband? You admired him. There were some amazing things about him. Look at his good side, and remove the magnifying glass from his faults. You have faults too. What if your husband set out to change you, and focused on your faults? Yet, wives do this to their husbands all the time. Give your husband the freedom to mess up. Admire him daily. TELL him you enjoy his muscles, his strength, his strong character, his efforts at his job, etc.
NEVER talk down about your husband to others. Women tend to go to each other for comfort, when they have a woe regarding their husband. When a woman speaks negatively to or about her husband, it creates a distrust in the heart of her husband. Even if he doesn't know you've been talking disrespectfully of him, he'll sense it. Build your husband up when speaking with others.
"Every wise woman buildeth her house [family]: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." -Proverbs 14:1
When you admire your husband, so that he KNOWS you do, and when you build him up, instead of tearing him down, then he trusts you fully with his heart:
"The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." -Proverbs 31:11-12
Forget about if he deserves it or not. Waiting for your husband to deserve your admiration is NOT love. True love is not a wage; it is never earned. Love is freely given, expecting nothing in return.
A Woman's Appearance
Since we've seen in Scripture that women are to have opposite roles and mannerisms from men, what about appearance and dress? The same principle carries over:
"The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God." -Deuteronomy 22:5
There is to be a marked difference between the way women look, and the way men do. Women are to wear clothing that shows, without a doubt, that they are female.
"In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array" -1 Timothy 2:9 [Shamefacedness - humble, not haughty. No "divas" allowed.]
According to the literal Greek translation of the above verse, a woman's "modest apparel" should be long and flowing; a dress. "Apparel" is from the Greek word "katastolē," which is a feminine noun, and means "a garment let down, a dress." You can look this up for yourself here. When a person is seen from behind, it can be revealed at a glance if that person is a woman, if she is in a dress.
The same goes for hair. Men are to have short hair, and women are to have long hair.
"Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him? But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering." -1 Corinthians 11:14-15 Covering = "to wrap around."
This particular instance of "covering" is different from all the other occurrences of "covering" in chapter 11. All the other instances refer to something put on top of the head, such as a fabric covering.
The differences between men and women are not limited to just the physical, the roles, and the mannerisms. These differences carry over into the spiritual as well. In the natural, the woman is to have long hair. In the spiritual, the woman is to wear a head covering:
"Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth his head. But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven. For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered." -1 Corinthians 11:4-6
The natural subjection has to do with the fact of creation. The woman was created in a subjective position and the man in an authoritative position.
Quoted from the chapter called The Symbols of This Position from the book Baptist Women Exalted.
A woman’s spiritual head is her husband:
"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body." -Ephesians 5:22-23
The woman's physical head is to have a covering over it, to symbolize the above spiritual truth. Communion symbolizes how Christ died for our sins. Living water symbolizes eternal life through Christ. Christ is symbolized as a door. If we open that door, we commune with the Lord for eternity. The marriage covenant symbolizes the marriage of the church to Christ (Eph. 5). A woman's head covering symbolizes that she is under the Lord's authority by submitting to her husband. The angels see this power on the woman's head.
Don't take my word for any of the above. Take it all to God in prayer. Study the Scriptures. Please read the books I mentioned, combine those with Scripture and prayer, and come to your own conclusions.